Retirement Homes Are Murder by Mike Befeler
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Loved the premise. Didn't like the implementation. I don't like posting two-star reviews. But here it is.
Paul Jacobson wakes up in a strange place with no memory of where he is or the previous day. He's gruff with the nurse that comes to give him his daily medications and eventually finds his way to breakfast in the retirement home dining room with his table companions from the day before, who fill him in on some of the who, where and what of his new situation. Then he discovers a dead body and winds up the main suspect in the murder.
That's a cool set up. And it could have been the foundation of a both an interesting mystery and an interesting examination of geezer-life. Except... The prose and dialog are as wooden as can be and riddled with ancient cliches and comebacks instead of any attempt at reality. In this reality, a patient that clearly belongs in memory care is living independently, nobody has empathy, and garbage chutes have locks (?!). Most attempts at humor were also passe and trite. Several chapters in, I hoped it would get better and kept grinding through, hitting more and more reality breaks and improbable behavior. Finally, I simply started skimming to get the main points and make it to the revelation of the killer and their motive. Unfortunately, even that is disappointing and barely makes it to the level of a mediocre detective show from the sixties.
Obviously, that's what this is. A mediocre detective story from a time gone by. Except this was written in the 21st Century and misses the mark of modern story-telling.
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